


Through The Dark

by DuchessKitty16



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, First Homosexual Experience, First Time Blow Jobs, Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-10 09:36:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4386794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DuchessKitty16/pseuds/DuchessKitty16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The band has just come off tour and Harry and Louis have some real talk about changes in their relationship.</p><p>Or the one where Louis and Harry snog at Zayn's housewarming party.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Can things go back to the way they were?

Louis held the fancy engraved invitation out for Harry to see.  
“Would you get him, being all fancy. It’s a fucking housewarming party, not an invite to a royal wedding!”  
“Zayn’s just proud about his new place, Tommo. Let him have his fun.” Harry gently admonished.  
“And why even waste one of these dumb things on us?”, Louis exclaimed. “We’ve just come off tour with him. We know ALL about his dumb party. He’s practically run every detail of the damn thing by us!”

Harry didn’t see the point in continuing this conversation with Louis. They’d only been back in the London house they shared for a few days; having just ended their 3 month South American and Asian tour, followed immediately by time spent with their respective families for Easter. And he and Louis were only just beginning to get back to feeling and acting “normal” around each other. Harry didn’t want to risk a fight; especially over something as dumb as party invitations.  
For months leading up to the tour Louis had been distant and seemed to be angry at Harry over anything and everything. Harry found himself spending more and more time away from their shared home; staying in random hotel suites, crashing in Niall’s guestroom, or with the either of the two socialite girls that he’d dated the previous 8 months.  
Louis had been especially bitter and vicious about those two high-profile relationships. Harry had first started up something with the daughter of a famous athlete, who was now working as a high-fashion model and had gotten her own US reality tv series. That coupling hadn’t lasted past September’s fashion week, where she’d dumped him for another model who walked for Hugo Boss.  
Harry had then hooked up with an up-and-coming Disney teen show starlet who had transitioned to the pop music world and currently had a top 10 hit with a song called “Heartbreaker”. The press were all saying that the song was about Harry who supposedly had broken up with the singer right after Christmas. In reality, she’d written that song months before about her Disney costar, and had really only used Harry as a rebound. He hadn’t minded; she was cute and had been very adventurous in bed. Although she had complained about his uncircumcised penis which had annoyed him to no end.

By the time the tour had started in January, it seemed like Louis could hardly stand to be in the same room with Harry, much less share a stage with him. Of course, if he’d only asked Louis he would have learned that Louis was just missing him and incredibly worried that everything was changing as their band got bigger and richer; that they were all growing apart.  
It wasn’t until after their first tour stop in Lima, Peru that their management team had told them to figure out whatever was bothering them and fix it. Fast.  
Harry had asked Louis why he was so mad at him and Louis had finally admitted that it was jealousy. Harry had matured into the leader of their group and his voice had matured with it. Meanwhile Louis felt less and less relevant on stage; the weakest link vocally, and therefore was throwing all of his effort into song writing for the band. Louis was jealous of the relationships that Harry was getting involved in, especially the toxic one with the Disney pop starlet.  
Harry didn’t understand what Louis was feeling; after all, he was dating Eleanor and seemed happy, so why would he care about Harry’s girlfriends?

But then Liam revealed late one evening after a show when they were the only ones awake on the tour bus headed to the airport from one of the large stadiums in South America, that Louis had told Liam that he’d actually written the songs “Strong” and “Through The Dark” about Harry.

 

Harry hadn’t believed it at first. But then he’d thought about the day that Louis had presented the two songs to the group and Jon Ryan, their producer. Louis had been intensely looking at Harry practically the entire time he had played the songs for the group. Now Harry was struck deeply by the meaning in the lyrics that Louis had written. And now when they practiced those songs during rehearsals for the tour, Harry found himself touched by how heartfelt the sentiments are. And now he blushes whenever Louis sings his parts, feeling Louis’ eyes on him while they perform on stage. And Louis is somehow like a magnet to Harry when they’re on stage; he can’t not look at him.  
Harry can’t deny that he has feelings for Louis. Hell, if he’s being honest, he fell in love with Louis when they first met, and was seriously enamored of the boy for the first year of their friendship. But he’s not sure about his feelings for Louis now. Everything is a lot more complicated now than it was when they first began. There’s a lot more on the line; there’s more at jeopardy. And just because these love songs were supposedly written for him, does that really mean that Louis is in love with him? Harry’s not so sure.

 

Harry’s recent understanding and appreciation of Louis’“feelings” seems to have repaired whatever was damaged between them. Louis is back to his old joking behavior with Harry, like he is with the rest of the band. He’s constantly taking advantage of any free time the two of them might have. And he hasn’t been making nearly as many complaints about Harry spending more and more time away from their shared abode, or about the girls he’s been dating. But Harry doesn’t want to lead him on or give him false hope. There is a whole world of relationship possibilities out there for Harry, and he wants to explore. But he also can’t deny that Louis is on his mind – a lot. And he feels his heart swell whenever they’re on stage singing and it feels like only he and Louis are there pouring their hearts out for each other.  
What do they really want from each other? Friendship? More? Harry can’t deny that he and Louis have shared intimate moments in the past. But can’t that be chalked up to teenage experimentation?

It’s been well over four years since the first time they kissed; he can count the number of times on one hand that they’ve done anything sexual and nothing has happened between them for almost two years. They’ve never done anything more than make out…except once almost three years ago. It had been Harry’s 18th birthday and they had all gotten smashed on ciders and gin, an awful combination. All five of the guys had ended up in Niall’s apartment passed out in various forms in the living room.  
Harry and Louis found themselves nestled under a thick duvet in a corner of the sectional couch, and as the three others lightly snored around them, they began making out; light, feathery kisses at first and then more intense; the taste of alcohol heavy on their breath. Louis had removed his pants because he’d spilled rum punch on them, and before he knew what he was doing, Harry was drunkenly shoving his hand down into Louis’ underwear, blindly reaching and stroking his semi-hard shaft. 

The fact that Harry had given Louis a clumsy handjob that he was sure hadn’t left any impression on the older boy, had never been discussed by either of them. Louis had not once hinted about it and Harry could barely recall the night, although he could still remember the feel of Louis in his hand; the smoothness and the ridges; the satiny skin over steel. He could still remember the sweet smell of the semen that had coated his hand as Louis came. Of course Louis would have come that smelled like sugar.  
Harry just wants to put all of the awkwardness behind them and move on. Maybe these next couple of months off, before the next part of their tour begins, he can make some strides to make things better.


	2. After the party...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things heat up between Louis and Harry in Zayn's kitchen.

As per usual, Louis and Harry are the last ones to leave a party. 

Everyone else has long left Zayn’s new apartment. Most of the lights in the condo are off, the glow from the kitchen counter lights and the street lamps from the city below outside are the only illumination. 

Louis is sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging his legs back and forth while he picks apart a chocolate cupcake. Harry is just putting the last empty bottle of champagne into the recycling bin in the pantry and closing the door. It’s quiet except for the quiet humming coming from under Louis’ breath. It’s peaceful and nice, a major difference to how chaotic the scene was just an hour ago with all of the party revelers.

“Zayne has a cleaning service coming in the morning you know,” Louis says absentmindedly.

“I know, Louis,” Harry says. “But it seems silly not to help.” 

“You’re avoiding going back to our flat.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are. I heard you talking with that Wilhemina girl earlier. Heard you saying that you’re thinking about buying a penthouse in that new fancy condo development in East London.” Louis remembered the lustful look in the girl’s eyes as Harry smiled and chatted with her.

“It’s a good investment, Louis. You should think about buying a place too. Something for yourself; not just houses for your mum and sisters.”

“Niall and Liam haven’t any “investment property”. I don’t know what you’re on about?!”

“That’s not true! Niall bought that place last month in Cornwall. And Liam and Sophia are looking at townhouses in Kensington. We’re all growing up Lou. We can’t all live in the same place forever.”

“So you don’t want to be flat-mates with me any longer? Is that what I’m hearing? You want to go around with this Wilhemina woman and have her help you find a place and decorate it?”

“Louis…” Harry softly warned.

“Too many people want a piece of you,” Louis said from under his breath. Harry still heard him though, and he halts his ministrations to look over at the older boy. Louis shrugged and shoved another piece of cupcake into his mouth with more force than he probably meant to.

Harry goes back to gathering empty bottles and cans. There’s an abandoned plastic cup under one of the chairs in the dining room and he picks it up, tossing it into the nearest trash can. 

“I’m just saying,” Louis says slowly, something in his tone causing Harry to stop what he’s doing again and look up at Louis. 

“I don’t want things to change. I want to be home. With you. We could be home already.” Louis just left that statement hanging in their air with a weight of unspoken promises in his eyes as he stared at Harry.   
There’s something to Louis’ tone; in the way Louis looks; the way he shrugs, like his words are completely casual even though Harry can see his gaze darkening the longer they look at each other.

“Also, if we were home,” Louis continued, a smile creeping on his face, “I wouldn’t have to be wearing these ridiculously tight pants. Or, y’know, any pants at all for that matter.” He shifts around as if to bring his point to focus.

Harry shook his head in exasperation and grinned.   
He had given up reminding Louis that he could wear different pants a long time ago. That although their management and wardrobe team used to pick out every single item of their clothing, lately they’d been allowed to develop their own personal style. Although if Harry is being honest with himself, he doesn’t actually want Louis to stop wearing his skinny jeans.   
Harry’s pretty sure Louis just wishes it were socially acceptable to wear sweatpants and pajamas bottoms everywhere.

Harry’s eyes involuntarily go to the crotch of Louis’ pants and whoa! they do seem incredibly tight; tighter than usual.   
Is Louis aroused? Harry’s mouth goes dry and forces himself to look away and find something to do. He looks around the kitchen for something to clean. 

Louis then jumps from the counter and turns Harry around, pulling Harry to him by the jumper.

“This is a nice…what did that American woman call it tonight? A nice sweater.”

It’s Harry’s new favorite jumper, an off white Prada one that just showed up in the wardrobe closet at the studio last week. 

Louis starts running his fingers up and down the front of the jumper, staring intently into Harry’s eyes, apparently oblivious to the small stroke Harry’s having. Louis then pushes him away and picks up the last bit of cupcake and puts into his mouth, licking his thumb slowly and almost suggestively while looking at Harry. 

What’s being implied by this action is unmistakable and Harry feels trapped.

It takes everything inside of Harry not to cross the three feet of distance between them and crush that mouth that still has a little bit of chocolate frosting on it.

“You have to stop distracting me from trying to have a serious conversation with you.” Harry quips, but it lacks his usual cheek.

“Oh, am I distracting you?” Louis asks, feigning innocence. “I had no idea.”

“Ha ha ha,” he says as he rolls his eyes. “Fuck you, Lou,” and he flips him off.

He’s pretty sure Louis’ answering laugh can be heard all the way down on the street below. “Maybe. If you’re lucky.”

Harry sends a glare towards Louis and watches as Louis rolls up the sleeves his black shirt, the muscles in forearms flexing. He finds it incredibly sexy.

Harry abruptly takes one long stride and closes the distance between them in the kitchen, standing directly in front of Louis.

Louis sucks in a harsh breath, eyes widening and hums a little and licks his lips. “Did you need something, Hazza?”

“Do you have a plan Louis?"  
"Something more than ‘I just want to hang with the lads’? Because that’s not going to sustain you, or us.”

The older boy grins and finally looks up, meeting Harry’s gaze.”What’s wrong if my big life plan involves spending the rest of it hanging with you? 

“That’s always my plan, Harry. Don’t for one second ever doubt that being with you, isn’t always my plan.” He trails his hand up Harry’s arm until it’s cupping the back of his neck, fingers playing with the curls there.

The moment is incredibly intense and they stand there eyes locked for what seems like minutes.

“You are truly ridiculous.” Harry shakes his head, pulls Louis in by the shirt, and kisses him.

It’s not a sweet kiss. Not even a little bit. It’s not soft or slow. It’s heated from the start, fast, and Harry can taste the chocolate in Louis’ mouth. It’s been awhile since they’ve done this, and Harry finds himself flooded with a number of emotions – he’s missed the feel of this mouth; he feels giddy; he feels terrified; he feels revulsion – all at once. Louis deepens the kiss; and for Harry it feels just as good – maybe even better – than the first time they kissed so long ago.

But it isn’t long until Harry has to pull back to catch his breath. He doesn’t go far, just leans his chin against Louis’ forehead.

Louis jumps back onto the kitchen counter and wraps his legs around Harry’s waist to pull him in closer, and Harry doesn’t have to look down to know why he’s grinning. 

“I have wanted to do this for ages.” Louis sounds a little breathless and when Harry glances at him, his eyes are closed. His eyes snap open and he sneaks his fingers under Harry’s jumper. His touch tickles more than anything, but still manages to send heat shooting down Harry’s spine. 

Harry takes a reluctant step back.

“Come on,” Louis pouts, reaching out for Harry again, “What are you doing? What’s wrong?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “We shouldn’t do this. Not here.” Louis whines a little, trying to pull Harry back to him. 

“I think Zayn and Perrie are still awake upstairs. Someone might catch us.”

Louis gives him a burning look and Harry can’t resist it. He steps forward and presses their lips together again. Louis grins against his mouth and reaches under his jumper again. Harry doesn’t stop him this time, only deepens their kiss and wraps an arm around Louis’ waist and places the other hand in his hair.

“Oh Harry.” Louis gasps softly as they break their kiss momentarily.

“Let go.” Harry replies, and disentangles himself from their embrace. He swiftly moves away opening a drawer on the other side of the kjtchen and grabbing a pen and paper notepad that are inside.

“What are you doing?” Louis asks as he walks over and wraps his arms around Harry’s waist from behind, kissing his neck just under his right ear.

“I’m leaving a note for Z, letting him know that we borrowed his Beemer to drive home. I don’t feel like calling or waiting for a driver.” 

Harry also didn’t trust himself to keep his hands off of Louis, if they were riding together in the back of a car. They couldn’t risk a driver seeing them together in that way, even though the car service that they had on retainer was extremely discreet and professional, with each driver having signed a non-disclosure agreement.

Driving home would also provide a needed distraction for Harry. The car was a manual transmission and Harry still wasn’t that confident at driving stick.

Harry left the note on the credenza near the front door and grabbed the car keys out of the silver bowl there.

Louis playfully jumped on Harry’s back letting out a loud “Whoop” as Harry shushed him. “You’ll wake Z and Perrie.” He admonished, but willingly grabbed hold of Louis’ legs as he rode piggyback out of the apartment.

“Home James!’ Louis giggled as the private elevator door opened.

Harry set Louis down gently onto the floor of the elevator and pushed the B2 button to take them down to the parking garage.  
Louis suddenly pushed Harry against the back of the elevator and started kissing his neck passionately as he trailed his hand down Harry’s chest and placed it on Harry’s crotch squeezing and palming Harry’s undeniably growing erection.

“Louis, stop. Not here. There are cameras!” Harry pushed Louis off with enough force that he hit the far corner of the elevator with a thud.

“Ouch! It's a private elevator you git!" Louis exclaimed, touching the back of his head where it had hit the wall. But before he could say anything else, the elevator doors opened onto the garage and Harry ran out key fob in hand.

Harry unlocked the black BMW convertible that sat a few spaces from the elevator and quickly got in the driver’s seat and turned the ignition. Louis got in the passenger side, and crossed his arms still smarting from Harry pushing him away.

As Harry shakily put the car in gear and made his way out of the garage, the silence and tension building in the car between them was palpable. It was making driving the car even harder for Harry, and just a block away from Zayn’s condo, he flooded the engine and stalled out at a stop light.

“Oh god but you’re a shite driver, Harry!” Louis groaned as he pulled on the emergency brake and got out of the car, walking around to the driver’s side. He opened the door and said, “C’mon then. I’ll drive home.”

“But you’ve been drinking.” Harry warned.

“I had my last drink over an hour ago. And there’s something about getting pushed into a wall that surprisingly sobers up a person.” Louis scolded but he said it with a smile and Harry let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, and returned the smile, looking up into Louis’ eyes as he reached out a hand to help Harry out of the car.

Louis suddenly pulled Harry in close against him, their grasped hands between them. But then just as suddenly, he let Harry go, and lithely climbed into the driver’s seat shutting the door. 

Harry walked around the car, and found himself needing to reach out for the trunk to steady himself. Why was he so nervous? What was happening?

Once he was seated in the passenger seat, Louis took off shifting the car smoothly, pushing the speed quickly. It was way past 3AM and thankfully there was no traffic to worry about. Silence enveloped them again. Neither of them had even turned on any music to fill the dead air.

Harry found himself transfixed by Louis’ left hand, as it maneuvered the BMW’s stick shift. The play of his long, beautiful fingers, the way the muscles in his forearm flexed as he changed gears. He almost reached out to touch his hand but instead pulled his eyes away to look out the window instead. The city night was still brightly lit by street lamps, but dawn would soon be coming. Harry took a few deep breaths to center himself, and then blurted out what he'd been keeping inside all night, in a rush.

“I do want to move out, Louis. I am going to buy that place in East London, or another place somewhere else."   
"I need space. I need a place of my own. It was different when we were all first starting and I was this stupid 16yr old kid. I couldn’t live on my own. You were my cool, older friend, who’d already been living on your own. You were so TOGETHER. When you suggested to Jon that I live with you, it was one of the best days of my life.” 

These words poured out in a jumble from Harry’s mouth with quiet urgency.

“It just hurts that you don’t want me, the way that I want you.” Louis said in a sad whisper.

“That’s not true.” “It’s not.” Harry insisted as Louis looked over at him with tear-pricked eyes.

This time Harry did reach out and place his hand on top of Louis’ left hand, feeling his hand flex as he continued to change gears. 

They were silent the rest of the ride home; the quiet filling up the car and making it hard for Harry to breathe. Could he love Louis the way he wanted?

 

Louis realized as he turned onto their street that they would have to find street parking because there wasn’t a space in their garage. 

“Zayn’s going to be very angry. Very angry indeed that we have to leave his new pretty baby parked on the street.” 

He joked under his breath as he expertly parallel parked the convertible in a space a half block down from their fancy apartment building. By now the sky had hints of dawn lightening the night along its edges. As they made their way down the street, Louis started quietly singing.

“…when the night is coming down on you, we will find a way through the dark.”

That song! Harry got goosebumps and his breath caught in his throat thinking about Louis writing those words about him. He hurried down the street and into their building nodding to the security guard stationed at the front desk.

 

Harry placed the key in the lock of the door to the apartment and felt the heat coming off Louis’ body as he stood very close behind him. Louis was still quietly humming “ThroughThe Dark” and it was slowly driving Harry insane. Did Louis know?

As he opened the door to their apartment and walked in, Louis sang out a little louder as he closed the door shut, “…And I remember you were laughing, so let’s just laugh again.”

Harry stood frozen. Holding Louis’ stare and returning it with a smile. Louis closed the distance between them quickly, putting his arms around Harry and bringing his face in close.   
“Oh I will carry you over, fire and water, for your love. And I will hold you close; hope your heart is strong enough.”

He finished singing the line of the chorus and kissed Harry deeply. Harry’s knees went weak and he slumped against the back of the couch that was just behind him. Louis continued the kiss, deepening it, pressing closer, ever closer to him.

Harry almost wasn’t sure of his surroundings. He felt totally helpless; completely entranced by the way that Louis was making him feel.

“Oh Hazza, I want you so much. Do you know how much? That’s all I want. I’ve thought about nothing else for years.” 

Louis kissed along Harry’s jaw and down his neck, moving his hands underneath his jumper and feeling the heat of Harry’s back.   
Harry felt in a daze. What was happening?!

“Louis, wait. Wait. I don’t think we should let this go further.”

"What? Why?!" Louis exclaimed with a hurt look on his face.

"This is happpening too fast and my head is spinning. I don't want us to make a mistake that could change things irrevocably. I don't want this, whatever this is, to ruin us." Harry pleaded, looking at Louis with heartfelt sincerity. Louis looked heartbroken.

"Oh Harry, why are you pushing back? We're good together. I know you feel it too." Louis emphasized his point by moving towards Harry quickly and wrapping his arms tightly around the taller, slimmer man. 

Harry's body became electrified as their mutual arousal crushed against each other in Louis' embrace. Louis kissed him again, starting off gentle and then deepening it, his tongue wrapping around Harry's.   
Oh god, Harry thought, Louis might be the best kisser he's ever known. This despaired him, but Harry melted into the kiss anyway.

"We don't have to do anything serious, tonight." Louis whispered as he trailed kisses along Harry's jawline.   
"I just want to touch you. Can I touch you?" It was almost a plea.

Harry looked deeply into Louis' eyes, their foreheads touching as they both buried their hands into each other's hair.

"I want to be touched by you. And tasted. I want to do the same to you. But our friendship and the band dynamic is too important."

"This isn't about the other guys. Forget the band! This is about us. And denying our feelings isn't going to do the "band dynamic" any favors anyway." Louis whined softly but didn't release his hold on Harry.

"Oh god help me, I want you so badly." Harry sighed and kissed Louis hard and deep, dropping his hands to his buttocks and squeezing Louis while bringing his body in closer. "I may regret this all in the morning, but I don't want to stop where this is going."

"Babe, it's already morning." Louis purred. "I won't let you regret one thing."  
"We're going to finally do what I've wanted since I practically first met you. I'm going to love you the way I've dreamed about, Harry."

And with that, Louis sweetly and softly kissed Harry's lips and took him by the hand and led him down the hall towards their bedrooms.


	3. ...And into the light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis finally gets his heart's desire - a night in bed with Harry.
> 
> Or the part where Harry receives the greatest blow job of his life.

Harry followed Louis down the hall. The closer they got to their bedroom suites, the more nervous he felt. 

What was happening?! Would this night bring them closer or end up tearing them apart? He tried resisting the tug of Louis's hand but without much visible effort, and his breath caught in his chest. 

He was terrified of the jumble of feelings flowing through him – apprehension, confusion, excitement, love, regret, lust – above all LUST. He wasn’t sure if he could or would allow Louis take things further.

Louis led them into his master suite and softly closed the door behind them, as he toed off his shoes. Harry followed his lead, bending over to unlace his suede boots and remove his socks. 

Harry took his time with the task; using it as a way to focus on something banal that allowed him to catch his breath and calm down. He stood straight and looked around the room for really the first time. After all these years of living together, he’d never spent more than a brief minute in this bedroom. 

Louis had it decorated in lovely tones of gray and green. All of the lamps were on dimmers that Louis was currently turning down low to set the mood.  
After a few minutes, Harry couldn’t avoid what and who he was in this room for, and Louis came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Harry and kissing the back of his neck.

“What are you doing, babe? Come to bed.”, Louis cooed.

Harry turned around, unwrapping the arms around his waist and facing Louis; his beautiful green eyes brimming with tears.

“Oh, sweets! What’s wrong? Are you really that scared?”, Louis asked with concern, stepping forward to embrace Harry again, but stopping when he saw the hesitation in Harry’s bright eyes.

“Louis, I don’t think I can do this. As much as my body wants to, I have to think with my head and my heart. I know you say that us being together like this won’t mess things up, but our friendship and working relationship is too important to me to fuck it up just because I am finding you unbelievably irresistible. And so fucking hot. ” Harry tried to smile but it resembled more of a grimace.

 

“But Hazza don’t you see? Our relationship has already changed. No matter what happens or doesn’t happen tonight, things between us have changed and they can’t change back. Everything’s out on the table between us. I’m telling you I love you. I LOVE YOU. I know you may not love me in the same way, but I can’t take back my feelings or make them different. I’m done with all of that.”

Louis stepped forward again, this time reaching up to brush a few strands of hair back away from Harry’s face, stroking his index finger along Harry’s jaw.

“We can take it slow, Harry. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. Even if all you ever give me is the gift of your lips on mine; Harry, I can live just on your kisses.” 

Louis’ voice came out in a seductive whisper, “Come lie down with me, babe.”

This time it was Harry who initiated things. A small, involuntary moan escaped from his lips as Louis matched his passion and kissed him hard, their tongues twisting around in each other’s mouths.

Louis pushed Harry towards the bed breaking their kiss to take off Harry’s jumper. Louis ran his hands up and down Harry’s muscled chest bending his head slightly to nip and lick one of Harry’s nipples before pushing him back onto the bed with a seductive smile. Louis unbuttoned and removed his shirt and slim black jeans. 

Harry looked at his body clad only in small black briefs with a look of lust and admiration. Louis felt his cock grow even harder under Harry’s sultry green-eyed gaze.

Louis leapt onto the bed and they both fell back in a heap on top of the feather duvet, scooting their up towards the head of the bed, Louis covering Harry’s body and resuming their kissing.

After several minutes, Harry broke their kiss and gently pushed Louis onto his back and placed his head on Louis’ chest, wrapping his arms around him.   
“I just need to catch my breath.” Harry explained, brushing his lips lightly on the patch of hair on the smaller man’s chest. 

Louis brought his right arm up around Harry and placed his hand in Harry’s beautiful brown, wavy hair, combing through the silky locks. He placed his other hand on Harry’s smooth, muscled back, tracing one of the tattoos that was there.  
After a few minutes like this, Louis kissed the top of Harry’s head, breathing in the citrus scent of his shampoo. 

“Babe, you haven’t fallen asleep on me have you? I know it’s four in the morning, but I have plans for you that don’t involve sleep just yet.”

Harry smiled against Louis’ chest. “No, I’m awake. I’m just overwhelmed I guess. I’m so happy lying here with you like this. And I’m sad that we haven’t done it before, but I’m also feeling a little lost. I don’t know what to do, and I don’t want to suck at this. No pun intended.”

Louis’ fingers in Harry’s curls, stroking lazily now, stilled. "Harry, there aren't any questions here. You don't have to worry about making the wrong choice or the wrong move or somebody getting hurt, because it's different with us. You’re going to be great at loving me – I just know it." 

Harry felt Louis’ laugh rumble underneath his cheek and he lifted his head to stare deeply into Louis’ blue eyes. There was a trust there that he felt. And he’d never felt sexier. 

Harry’s eyes drifted to Louis' lips, and he's losing the will to fight this. He's been fighting himself for so long, and he doesn't have the strength left to fight Louis, too. "Louis... you love me. You want me."   

They’re not questions, but Louis answers anyway. "Yes."   

Harry sits up slightly, bringing his face closer to his and gently presses two fingers inside Louis' mouth. Louis can't resist the urge to nip and lick at them before Harry removes them retreating to trace across Louis’ kiss-bruised lips again.   
"From the beginning."  

"Yes."  

Smiling and eyes still focused on Louis' lips. "I think I knew. Always. Did you know that I knew it?"  

Louis isn’t sure that honesty is such a good choice right now, but -- "Yes."  

Harry's eyes finally lift, and burn into his, and Louis thinks that honesty is less a habit than a habit-forming drug when he sees the love and the lust shining back at him in Harry’s green eyes, through the muted light of the bedroom lamps. 

Harry places his face right over Louis and resumes his penetrating stare, his lips just barely hovering over Louis’. They lie there like that for what seems like hours, but are probably only seconds, letting a soothing silence fill the room, before Harry sweetly whispers, "And I... I want you to have me. I want you to have all of me."

Louis slowly pushed up and flipped Harry onto his back on the stack of pillows behind him. Louis slowly tasted Harry’s soft lips again with his, slow and gentle, because he wants to do everything and he realizes that this might be the only chance he ever has. 

Playing on the outside, he lightly strokes Harry's lips with his teeth and tongue, greedily sucking in the little whimper Harry makes when he does that. Harry’s mouth is open, hot and waiting under his, but Louis is taking his time with this. He wants to learn and memorize the textures just inside by running the tip of his tongue along the ridge of parted teeth. He dips further in to stroke along Harry’s palate.  

Harry can’t handle just lying still and brings his hands up to clench Louis’ ass. It’s a breathtaking jolt to Louis's sense of control when he feels Harry’s erection rubbing against his. A hard heat leeches through layers of cotton and denim and sets fire underneath his skin. Statements of altruistic motives aside, Harry wants this, too. Harry *wants* him.

And that shatters the last of Louis' resistance and sanity.   His hands clench in Harry's hair, twisting to sharpen the angle and every trace of curious exploration is gone. 

He's marking now, thrusting his tongue in fiercely as a brand and practically fucking Harry's mouth with his. Harry, shudders against him and -- *fuck* -- starts an unsteady thrusting with his hips. He starts to suck on Louis' tongue, then, God *yes*, he’s tasting it. 

Harry flutters the tip of his tongue on the underside of Louis' and then he’s pushing, shoving back to claim Louis' mouth this time. Mapping and scorching with hot licks that are driving Louis out of his mind.

Harry's hands run up the arms braced at his sides, skimming across the sharp indentations above Louis’ collarbones, then down across the firm muscles of his back. 

Harry’s hands travel further down to cup Louis’ firm ass through his black cotton briefs, and he spreads his own legs wide and pushes up with his hips as he simultaneously pulls Louis down and forward.  The groan of pleasure that Louis makes is addictive. 

Harry needs to hear it again, so he shifts his hips and thrusts up again, hard and fast. Louis lowers himself completely onto Harry’s firm and writhing body and brings his hands down covering Harry’s. He pulls one of Harry’s hands up and around to nip lightly at the pulse points in Harry’s wrist, while his other hand snakes between them and presses onto the hard bulge in Harry’s pants. And then Harry is the one moaning now.

Louis moves to lie on his side, still kissing Harry deeply. With his left hand he unbuttons Harry’s trousers. He waited to see if Harry stopped him but he only wound his hands tighter through Louis’ hair and deepened their kiss. 

Louis slipped his hand inside the open fabric of Harry’s jeans and gets an erotic thrill that hardens his own cock further, when he finds that Harry isn’t wearing any underwear. 

Louis pulls Harry’s cock free and closes his hand firmly around the shaft and strokes up slowly, reaching the top and circling the head with his thumb. Harry's hips arch up off the bed with the intensity of the sensations, but Louis moves slowly, driving Harry out of his mind with the slow strokes that smear the pre-come across the tip of his cock.

Harry breaks their kiss and tilts his head back in ecstasy. He looks up, his fascinated, hot eyes traveling over Louis' body, and he nearly screams in frustration when Louis lifts his hand away. 

Harry can't hold back the moan as he watches Louis raise his thumb to his mouth and lick off the pre-come. Then he sucks the digit into his mouth for a more thorough cleansing. 

"*Louis*...", Harry breathes out, almost like a prayer.  

Thumb leaving his mouth with a wet pop, Louis grins down at him. "Yeah. I've got you." 

Louis slides down Harry’s body, scraping Harry’s jeans down with him and removing them completely before tossing them behind him off the bed. 

Harry’s glistening, erect cock bounces up towards his flat stomach.

Louis shifts position, moving to lie between Harry's splayed legs. Before Harry can do more than reach for him, Louis has one hand around the root of his dick and the kiss-swollen, red lips descend...

A blinding flash of light explodes behind Harry's eyes when the moist heat of Louis' mouth closes around the head of his cock. His tongue stroking with lazy thoroughness all around, tasting and teasing and playing lightly with the slit. 

Moving down further, Louis takes more of him in, and Harry thrusts upward blindly, needing even more. Fuck! He needs everything! And Louis gives it, open and hot and hungry around him. His licking gives way to a sucking pressure now, and Harry can feel electric shocks every time his thrusting brings the head of his cock in contact with the back of Louis’ mouth. 

Harry pants heavily, writhing around on the bed because Louis’ hot mouth feels so good on his cock.

Louis has both of his hands under Harry’s ass now, giving him access to Harry’s scrotum and his sweet, pink anus that’s just begging to be licked. He moves back and forth between sucking on Harry’s weeping erect cock and darting his tongue into his pink ring, licking along the curve of Harry’s ass. 

This sends Harry into a helpless frenzy of sensations and all he can do is spread his legs wide on either side of Louis and moan his name.

“Louis…Louis, oh my god. Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.” Harry practically begs.

Louis loves hearing the need, and the love in Harry’s voice. He can’t wait to make Harry come harder than he ever has in his life.

Harry knows he’s close. So close. “Louis. Oh fuck, Louis. Fuck. I’m going to come. Your mouth feels so good. Ahhh…”

Louis returns one hand to rest on Harry's abdomen and grabs the root of Harry’s cock and starts increasing the speed of his strokes as he sucks even harder on the head.   
With his other arm almost cramping from lifting Harry up, Louis slowly brings his hand from where he was holding the top of Harry’s smoothly curved ass and brings Harry’s right leg up to rest on his shoulder. This gives him the perfect opportunity to get to Harry’s prostate and push in on that sweet spot as he continues to lave and suck on Harry’s cock.

“Ahh fuck! Yes! RIGHT THERE.” 

Harry feverishly shouts as Louis presses in on that glorious special spot again and looks up at Harry’s flushed face, thrown back in ecstasy.

And Harry is pouring out into Louis’ mouth, and he can't feel anything else now, the universe narrowing down to this one point, spears of mind shattering pleasure filling his entire being. 

Louis’ tongue pushes up against Harry's cock as he swallows everything Harry has to give, and extends the climax past what Harry had believed possible, and he feels one more burst expel from him before he stiffens totally, then collapses back on to the bed, completely spent.

Louis slides his body up Harry and kisses him deeply. Harry loves that he can taste himself on Louis. And feeling Louis’ impressive erection pressing into his groin and lower stomach reminds him that he needs to return the favor and he can feel himself begin to harden again at the thought of Louis’ gorgeous cock in his mouth.

Harry sits up and with a wicked smile kisses Louis and presses him back on the duvet. 

 

"Now it’s your turn. I can’t promise I’ll be anywhere close as good as you are at sucking dick, but I’ll try my best.” 

Harry chuckles as he kisses his way down Louis’ flatly muscled chest and licks a path along his treasure trail of hair leading to his stiff, thick cock. He removes Louis' black cotton briefs and throws them off the bed. 

"Louis, Christ you're beautiful."

“You’re going to be great at making me come. I just know it.” Louis smiles and runs his fingers through his lover’s hair. “Now, quit stalling.” 

And on that command, Harry lowered his mouth…


	4. Reciprocity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry gives back, and then he and Louis get clean.

A mishmash of thoughts went through Harry’s head as he took the head of Louis’ cock in his mouth pressing his lips against the head and flicking out his tongue to taste the moisture there.

_With any other guy this would have been unthinkable, but I've imagined doing this to him often enough in the past few years..._

Louis made a moaning noise in his throat that sounded somewhere between pleasure and pain. Harry looked up to see Louis watching him, the deep blue eyes piercing. He lowered his head again, this time to try to take all of Louis' penis into his mouth, stroking it with his tongue. He was SO big, Harry couldn’t deep throat him like he wanted to.

Harry pulled up from his cock, kissing the head and licked the palm of his left hand, holding Louis’ smoldering gaze and feeling a shiver of pleasure run down his spine and go  straight to his own shaft that was getting harder by the minute. Harry then closed his hand over Louis' shaft and lowered his mouth over it again, adjusting to the feeling again of his girth in his mouth. He started to move his hand up and down, awkwardly at first, trying not to scrape Louis with his teeth.

"You're doing great," Louis said, breathing hard, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Harry tried to take Louis' whole length in his mouth again, but ended up gagging.

"Easy, Harry, just do what's comfortable for now until you get used to it."

He went back to using his hand and mouth together, his saliva lubricating Louis' shaft as he established a rhythm.

 _I'm sucking Louis's cock_ , he thought. _Probably not very well, but, God, just thinking about it is making me so hard again. I might come again without even touching myself._

"Ah, that's good, it’s so good," Louis groaned.

Harry pulled up again, and this time he moistened his right hand with saliva, and turned slightly on his side before he reached down to stroke his own shaft in unison with his motions on Louis'.

Louis bucked up into mouth moaning “Oh jesus, watching you jack yourself off while you’re sucking my cock is the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Harry moved faster now, occasionally knocking himself in the mouth with his hand or pinching his lip against his teeth, but mainly managing a steady rhythm. He was close to another orgasm, and he thought that Louis was too. _Being connected to Louis this way...feeling him react when I touch him with my tongue, or change the position of my hand...it's amazing. I hope he's enjoying it as much as I am..._ Harry took a quick look up at Louis. He had his eyes closed, his lashes dark fans against his tanned cheeks. His teeth were set in his lower lip.

Harry moved more vigorously, sliding his hand from the nest of dark curls at the base of Louis's cock nearly to the tip, then plunging back down, his mouth following in its wake.

“Harry, oh god, baby, your mouth feels so good.” Louis was all but panting now. "Come here. I want your mouth on mine. And I want us to come together like this.," Louis said, his voice uneven, as he pulled Harry up to him on the bed, kissing him and reaching to stroke Harry’s cock as he continued the motions of his hand on Louis'.

Louis pulled Harry even closer and wrapped Harry’s large hand around both of their throbbing, slick cocks. Harry jerked both of them together, the feel of their hard shafts pressed and sliding together almost more than he could take.

Louis only managed to hold out for a few more strokes before he came, shooting jets of sticky liquid over both of them. Harry soon followed, and they held each other tightly as they slowly returned to earth. Louis reached up and pushed back sweaty strands of Harry’s hair that had stuck to his flushed cheeks. He placed a gentle kiss on Harry’s lip that made him almost want to cry with how sweet it was.

 

“You’re so beautiful Hazza. God, this whole night has been a dream come true.”

 

“I want to be lay like this forever. I just want to block out the world and make love to you and never leave this bed.” Harry almost giggled as his admission came out of his mouth, he couldn’t remember when he’d been this happy.

 

“It’s so late. Or early. I don’t even know what to call it.” Louis broke into a grin. “If I want to do all of the things I want to do with you and to you, we need rest. How ‘bout we take a quick shower and go to sleep?”

 

“As long as we can do those things together, I don’t care what we do right now.” But a huge yawn escaped from Harry’s mouth as he said those words.

 

Louis sat up and got off the bed and reached for Harry’s hands lifting him to his feet. Harry looked down at their naked bodies streaked with their emissions and blushed before looking back into Louis’ blue eyes. Louis just gave him a knowing smile and said with a laugh, “come on Hazza, to the showers with you!” And pulled Harry into the large master bathroom at the far end of the room.

While Louis busied himself with the myriad of shower knobs that controlled water temperature, pressure and flow, Harry looked at himself in the large mirror above the sinks.

 _Well, I don’t look any different. I don’t know what I expected._ Harry thought as pulled his hand through his curly, long hair. Louis came up behind him and wrapped an arm around Harry, standing on his toes to give Harry a quick kiss on his neck.

“C’mon let’s get clean.” Louis wiggled his eyebrows up and down as he looked at Harry’s face in the mirror and smiled.

Harry followed Louis into the large stone shower that had a bench at the end. His mind suddenly flashed to all of the things that he and Louis could do on that bench and blushed again.

Louis pulled him under the warm, beating spray of the shower head and squeezed a healthy amount of shower gel into his hands that he lathered up and placed on Harry’s pecs, working his way down his chest to his waist. Harry reached for the shampoo that was on the top built-in shelf and began shampooing Louis’ hair before washing his own. Louis’ soapy hands were working lower now, making a lather along Harry’s hardening ( _again?!_ ) shaft and under, getting his scrotum and thighs soapy.

Harry paused washing his hair and almost stumbled back against the shower wall, the ministrations of Louis’ hands driving him wild.

“Oh god, you’re going to make me come again.” Harry squeaked out as he held on to Louis’ shoulders for support.

“That’s the idea then.” Louis smiled and winked and moved Harry to stand behind him, rinsing the shampoo out of both of their heads, before reaching for more body wash to soap up Harry’s smooth, muscled back.

Once Harry’s back was covered in lather, Louis pressed up against him, resting his chin against Harry’s shoulder and rubbing his lean, muscled body against the taller boy, pressing his erection into the seam of Harry’s buttocks. Louis returned his hands to the front of Harry’s body, the left playing with one of Harry’s nipples, while the right went back to stroking Harry’s hard length up and down.

Harry threw his head back slowly and Louis took the opportunity to kiss his neck as he increased the speed of his hand on Harry’s cock. The soap mixed with the pre-come leaking from Harry’s weeping cock created this slick friction that felt amazing to Harry.

Combining that with the feel of Louis’ cock rubbing against his back and ass pushed Harry over the edge and he came in a slow shudder, long ropes of come shooting out of his cock and leaving marks along the glass shower door.

“Don’t worry love, that’s easily cleaned.” Louis teased in a whisper as he playfully bit Harry’s left earlobe.

Harry in a passionate thrill turned around quickly and pulled Louis into a deep kiss. Leaning their foreheads together when they finally pulled their lips apart.

Harry pushed Louis under the warm stream of the water and leaned him against the shower wall as he dropped to his knees and took Louis’ still hard cock in his mouth. This time there was no hesitation on Harry’s part. He held on to Louis’ hips on either side and moved his mouth forward and back, taking almost all of him into his mouth. Louis squeezed a small amount of conditioner into his hands and began working it through the glorious strands of Harry’s hair, piling it up on the top of his head in a bun and holding on to his skull as Harry continued to suck him off.

“Oh Harry, that feels so good. I’m close, baby. I’m gonna come down your throat.”

Louis pumped his hips a few more times and then came hard, shooting into Harry’s mouth as Harry tried to swallow as much as he could. Harry stood up and Louis wiped off a little of the semen that had escaped his mouth with his thumb, which Harry then took in his mouth to lick clean.

They quickly showered off the remaining soap and hair product and got out of the steamy shower, wrapping lush terry-cloth towels around their waists. Harry grabbed an extra towel and dried off his hair before turning to Louis and doing the same, kissing him lightly on the cheek.

 

“Let’s sleep in my bed.” Harry suggested with a crooked smile. “The sheets are cleaner.”

 

 

“They won’t be for long!” Louis teased as he jumped out of the way of the towel that Harry flicked at him.

 

“Louis Tomlinson, you’re going to be the death of me. I need sleep!”

 

 

“Me too, babe. I’m exhausted. But I promise you, the first thing we’re doing when we finally wake up is making those 1000 thread-count sheets of yours, filthy.”

 

And with that, Louis ran out of the bath and into Harry’s bedroom across the hall, throwing himself down onto the fluffy yet firm bed and crawling naked under the duvet.

Harry followed and got into the bed next to Louis, _he’s sleeping on MY side_ , he thought with a smile, and brought the down comforter up over both of them and nestled against Louis’ back, wrapping a warm arm around his waist.

 

“I wouldn’t have pegged you for the big Spoon, Hazza.”

Harry could almost hear Louis’ smile as the smaller man said that.

 

“Oh shhh.” Harry whispered and brought Louis’ body closer to his as he fell into a deep slumber.


	5. The Morning After...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Louis and Harry spend a nice morning in Harry's bed.

Louis sucks Harry into his mouth, staring up at him through his long eyelashes as he lies between Harry’s spread legs.

"Fuck, Louis, your mouth," Harry moans, throwing his head back against the pile of pillows he’s propped up against.

"Fuck," Harry swears again as Louis pulls his foreskin down and licks over the head, digging the tip of his tongue into Harry’s slit and licking the pre-come there.

“It’s so good. Louis…ahhhh…oh god it feels so good.”

Louis has decided that if he just gets to suck Harry Styles off for the rest of his life, he will be happy. Hearing the obscene sounds that Harry makes; that he’s making _because of him_ , he can’t get enough of it.

It's only been about eight hours since Louis and Harry took these steps into the unknown; taking their relationship to this new level, and already Louis can't get enough of the thrilling feeling inside of him that's threatening to burst in an explosion of happiness. Louis can’t get enough of Harry; of his taste, his smell, the feel of his smooth skin. And if Harry is never comfortable with anything _more_ ; if the idea of anal sex or doing anything else is too much for him, Louis can live with that. Louis really sets a nice rhythm now, moving his mouth and his right hand in a fluid partnership up and down Harry’s hard cock.

“So close…oh yes babe. I’m so close now…aaahhhhhhhh.” Harry mewls out a final moan as his come pours into Louis’ mouth and down his throat.

Louis sits up on his knees still continuing to suck Harry through his orgasm, until he goes soft in his mouth. Louis releases his cock making a soft *pop* sound and leans forward to kiss Harry. Harry pulls Louis in close to deepen the kiss and runs his tongue along the inside of his mouth, tasting himself there. It’s one of the most sensual things ever and Harry already feels his cock thickening up again and it’s only been 30 seconds since he came.

Harry flipped Louis onto his back to kiss and explore his body with his tongue. “I want to put my lips, my tongue on every inch of your skin, Louis Tomlinson. I want to memorize your beautiful body with my mouth.” These words and more importantly, Harry’s tongue, have Louis squirming around on the bed, flushed and aroused beyond belief.

There was beautiful, smooth, skin everywhere Harry looked and he didn't know where to kiss first. Louis had a smattering of freckles that Harry really had to taste, and he leaned down to play connect the dots with his tongue along his left shoulder and just below his beautiful collar bones. The intoxicating smell of Louis overwhelmed Harry when he buried his face against a shoulder and started licking. Tasting the salt of sweat and something vaguely spicy that Harry guessed was the combination of soap, a faint trace of his Burberry cologne and… Harry’s tongue caught something else underneath that he couldn't quite place but chose to define as simply - Louis.

Kissing across that patch of skin over the collarbone, Louis’ skin felt so warm under his mouth. Flesh stretched thin over the bone there, so tender, and he heard Louis’ heartbeat thrumming loudly in his ears.

Louis’ hands and fingers were skimming along Harry's muscled back, then to the curve of his hip. He brought one hand up to catch Harry's head and lift it so that he could capture his mouth. He invaded Harry's mouth with his tongue, and Harry moaned around it. One of his own hands moved up to brush his fingers along Louis’ jaw, and he gave gentle pressure to deepen the kiss, and Louis complied. His tongue scraped against the ridge of his teeth, then flitted lightly against the palate before teasing lower, tangling with Harry’s.

Harry's body responded to the kiss like it was a drug which left him craving more, more. Harry had to have more. He ached for it. He moved his lips from Louis’ mouth to his neck, licking and sucking and giving little nips at the skin that set pulsing waves of electric heat rocketing though Louis. Louis felt so happy in the moment that he let out a giggle that Harry felt rumble through his chest under his lips.

Louis’ laugh turned into a throaty moan as Harry started kissing and licking patterns into his chest. His tongue laved a nipple and then he gave it a tiny bite that had Louis arching off the bed.

“Jesus, Harry! Your mouth is sinful.” Louis thought he might lose it just from the sight and feel of Harry's mouth on his skin. Harry moved down further, teasing the ridges of muscle that covered the older boy’s ribs with little nips and darts of his tongue.

The swirl of Harry’s tongue in his navel made a promise that sent a trembling thrill through Louis’ body. Harry drew a hot, wet line with his tongue down from there toward his groin, and Louis worried that he might come just from that.

"Wait. Harry. Ahhh..."

“You’re so fucking hot. You’re going to make me come too soon. Let me catch my breath. Kiss me again.”

Louis pulled Harry up his body until he was lying fully on top of the smaller man, their chests and groins pressed together. Harry hooked a hand behind Louis’ neck as he shifted, pulling Louis up with him a little as he stretched out fully on top of him grinding his hips down. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and held him close. Their mouths tangled together but there was a desperate wanting there and kissing wasn't enough for either of them for long.

Harry broke their kiss and kissed down Louis’ right arm leaving a tender kiss in his open palm. He dragged his lips, nipping lightly along Louis’ lower stomach. “I want you to come in my mouth.”

Moving with deftness and skill, _had it really only been a few hours since Harry had sucked cock for the first time? He was *so* good at it._ Harry licked and sucked at the head of Louis’ cock. His hand moved fast below in long, hard strokes that were torturous perfection. Louis arched up, trying to get more of that hot, wet clasp. He muttered words that might not have been recognizable as English, as he pushed and grunted and felt like his spine was being liquefied. Harry pulled off for a moment, the air a sweet torment on the sensitized head of Louis’ cock.

Louis watched with wide, lust-filled eyes as Harry liberally licked the fingers of his free hand, getting them slick with his spit, before he settled back in with his mouth on Louis’ cock. He stroked Louis with one hand as the other lifted Louis up to reach under him to tease at his hole, slicking and pushing two of his fingers inside. Louis couldn’t believe how good it felt.

“Where did you learn to do that?! You’re going to make me come.” He moaned with a breathy sigh. Louis was torn between pushing down on Harry’s fingers below or up into the heat of the mouth and hand above. It was the sweetest torment and he couldn't focus on which flash point of sensation felt the most intense or divine.

It was all too much, too good, and the release building up was too needed for him to last, and Louis felt the twist begin in his belly, spreading fingers of heat and tension through every muscle. He shuddered on the edge, and Harry pushed him over with a nudge of his tongue at his slit. Louis bowed off the bed in an arch that could get him a job in Cirque du Soleil; his muscles froze for an instant, then he spasmed with release as he came in Harry's mouth. Louis pushed and pulsed and quivered until he could scarcely believe there was a drop of moisture left in his entire body, much less his cock.

He lay there panting, trying to catch his breath, as Harry brought the duvet up over them and settled next to him. Louis cradled Harry to his chest and kissed the top of Harry’s nest of glorious curls. They lay there for several minutes in blissful silence. Harry lightly ran his fingers in a pattern up and down Louis’ bicep, as Louis massaged Harry’s scalp and played with his hair.

Louis broke the silence with a question. “Harry…um…am I the first?”

“Hmm? The first? I can’t imagine what you mean.”

Louis could feel Harry smile against his chest. Harry turned slightly and began kissing along the tattoos there. Louis felt his body tingle in arousal again. It was a cute attempt at an evasion, but this was too important for Louis to let it slide.

"No, I'm asking if you've ever…If you’ve been with another man."

Harry blushed and looked up at him as he seemed to search for the correct response, which for Louis was an answer in and of itself.

"I'm not completely... I've done... um..."

"Harry, you just sucked me off. Expertly, I might add. Not to mention what we got up to last night. I think it's a little late to be getting shy about sex talk."

And damn it, that just deepened the blush and stiffened Harry's defensive posture. Louis had been hoping that a tease might loosen Harry up a bit, not have the opposite effect.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just-" Louis sighed and ran a hand through his messy bedhead. "You and I had kissed before. And I know that you’ve been with lots of girls. But I had assumed that maybe you had done other stuff with some other guy…"

Harry's scoff stopped any further words. "You and everyone else. People are constantly trying to link me with you romantically, or link me with any man, really."

Harry paused, biting at his lip. "I... That’s why this whole thing with you has been sort of scary. I’m concerned that everyone saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself. Sure, I've looked at some guys and wondered 'What if?' but you're the only man that I've ever had any sort of feelings for.”

“Hey, listen." Louis put his hands on either side of Harry's face and smiled tenderly.  "I didn't mean to...You don’t have to have a label, Harry. You don’t have to be “gay” or “bi-curious” or whatever the fuck. You’re just you. You can just be 'mine'.”  

 

They lay together in silence again for a while after that, Harry’s cheek rested on his folded hands and arms that were draped across Louis’ muscled chest. Louis languidly went back to playing with the curls in Harry’s long hair and enjoyed the warmth and weight of Harry’s naked body covering his own nakedness. He could imagine staying like this, in Harry's bed, forever.

“Louis?” Harry asked gently after several minutes of peaceful silence where Louis had found himself dozing off, his hand still nestled in Harry’s curls. Harry gave the older boy a look of longing that Louis felt deep in his groin.

“Yeah, babe?” Louis answered, and reached for Harry under his arms, bringing him close and kissing the worry lines that had appeared on his forehead.

“Do you remember the night of my 18th birthday?”

Louis smiled up at the beautiful green-eyed boy. _Did he remember?! That moment had been frozen in his brain these past years as one of the best nights of his life._

“All of us got tremendously drunk and passed out at Niall or Liam’s apartment.”

Louis paused. He was being deliberately cagey. He wanted, *needed* Harry to say the rest.

“You and I were huddled together in the one corner of the sectional couch…” Harry blushed, barely speaking above a whisper.

Harry didn’t seem to be able to continue, so Louis took pity on him, brushing his thumb along the younger man’s soft lips and smiling.

“We were lying there together with our arms around each other and I wanted you so badly I could barely function. I kept nuzzling my face into your neck and giving you light kisses…”

Louis slowly raised his head and demonstrated what he meant, placing feathery kisses all along Harry’s jaw and throat. Harry let out a sigh and felt his cock thickening.

“I remember the way your skin smelled. It was, it *is* so intoxicating.” Louis pressed his nose and lips into Harry’s throat.

“I felt paralyzed.” Harry stuttered, but continued in his soft, low voice. “You were pressed up against me and I could feel the heat from your body but I was still so cold, I think from nerves. My hand came down accidentally against your bare thigh and I felt this zap of heat that went straight to my cock.”

“Wait. Why wasn’t I wearing trousers again?” Louis asked with a chuckle.

“Oh, you and Niall had been drinking those awful wine cooler things and you’d spilled one all over yourself. You’d taken your pants off to wash them. Fucking tortured me, having you walk around for the rest of the night in your boxers. I thought you or one of the guys was going to catch me looking at your crotch.”

“Oh yeah? Was I that captivating?” Louis asked with a smile.

Harry moved off Louis and sat next to him up against the headboard with a pillow behind his head.

“God. It was embarrassing how I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you..." Harry paused and looked down at Louis' glorious naked form, his eyes settled on his thick cock that was already half hard again, waiting for him like a gift. "..there.”

“Then what happened?” Louis turned on his side, propping his head on his left hand and bringing his right one up to rest on the wasp tattoo on Harry’s chest.

“You know what happened.” Harry looked deep into Louis’ eyes causing Louis to shiver with desire and he felt his cock twitch.

“You know.” Harry said again in his deep, sultry voice.

Louis nodded his head but didn’t take his eyes off Harry’s green ones as he softly spoke.

“You brushed your hand up my thigh, and slowly, sort of awkwardly  and tentatively slipped your hand inside my boxers and jerked me off."

"Well, “jerked me” is probably too strong a phrase. I wanted you so badly and was so fucking needy that all you had to do was palm me for a few seconds and I was coming all over us.”

“I can’t believe you remember, Louis. For years I thought I had dreamed it. It never came up between us and you acted like nothing had happened.”

“Oh Harry, I was afraid to bring it up. I had convinced myself that you had been too drunk to remember or that you were ashamed, or both. And I didn’t want to take the chance and ruin things between us.”

“What a waste.” Harry sounded almost bitter.

Louis tried to lighten things up a bit. “Just imagine, we could have been doing filthy, smutty things to each other this whole time.”

He threw his right leg over Harry and straddled him, stretching forward to kiss Harry lightly on the lips. Harry deepened the kiss grinding his hips up as his hands grabbed onto either side of Louis’ hips and pressed him down. There was a layer of duvet between them making friction there impossible. Harry wondered if Louis would always have the ability to make him *this* hard, almost immediately.

Just as Louis had sat up a little removed the cover separating the bodies, a phone rang. “Ugh! It’s Zayn.” Harry recognized the “Dirty Pop” ringtone that he and Zayn had jokingly assigned each other years before.

Louis moved off of him and Harry practically rolled off of the bed reaching down trying to get his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. He managed to pick it up before Zayn went to voicemail.

“Hey mate.” Louis could hear Zayn’s somewhat agitated sounding voice on the other end, and only then remembered that they had taken Zayn’s car earlier that morning.

“Yeah yeah, it’s fine. I can bring it back now. And maybe we can all go out to lunch?”

Harry looked at Louis who had moved over to where he was laying and had laid a hand on his chest that Harry now picked up and held in his own.

“We is Louis and me.” Harry answered.

“Yeah, he’s up.” Harry wiggled his eyebrows at that and gave Louis a huge smile. Louis felt his body melt with desire at the sight of Harry’s dimples.

“Okay. We’ll see you soon.” A look of worry and guilt suddenly flittered across Harry’s face.

“Um, well we sort of had to park the car on the street?” Louis could hear Zayn’s high pitched shout of “WHAT?!” on the other end of the phone.

“Don’t worry. It’s fine. Really. And if it’s not, I'll get you a new one. See you soon.” Harry ended the call and fell back onto the bed with a huff.

“I guess we should’ve just had a car take us home after all, huh?” Louis smiled sarcastically.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Harry sat up and looked into Louis’ blue eyes, thinking that the night behind them, everything that had happened and been said, seemed a lot longer ago than the six hours that it had been.

“Harry, I don’t want to jinx anything or ruin stuff by talking about it or analyzing it to death. But I do want to tell you that I love you. More than and in a different way than I love the other guys. I just…”, Louis almost choked on a sob that he felt building in his throat, “I need you to know that I’ve never been happier than right now, and even if I never get another moment like the ones we’ve shared over the past ten hours, I won’t care. This will have been enough for me.”

He felt tears prick at his eyes, and he smiled a watery smile at Harry. Harry reached out a hand a placed his palm against Louis’ cheek, which Louis covered and squeezed in turn with his own hand.

“Last night, this morning with you, has been one of the best parts of my life. Thank you.” Harry brought his other hand up to cradle Louis’ face and kissed him.

“Now come on! Let’s get dressed and head back to Zayn and Per’s. I know that Zayn won’t be able to breathe right until he knows that his “baby” is safe and sound back in his garage.” And with that, Harry untangled his legs from the nest of duvet and Louis and climbed out of his bed. He padded over to his closet and pulled out a pair of underwear and a tee shirt from the drawers in there and pulled a pair of skinny black maroon pants off a hanger.

Louis got up as well and went into his bedroom down the hall to get dressed and face the world. But he felt good to be facing it with Harry.

**Author's Note:**

> More chapters and smutty stuff to come at some point. But I decided to just go ahead and not keep this a WIP.


End file.
